Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Speedline Crankiness

Today started with a ride in hell for me, Gentle Readers,urgh!  I ride public transportation into work 'most every day.  I get on at the first possible stop, so I generally always have a seat which is a good thing :)....I am a good public transit rider, since I will sit on the inside and if the train is starting to fill up (no empty seats) I make sure that I have all of my paraphernalia on my lap and I allow enough room for another passenger to sit.

Today was a bit crowded.  At the second after mine, we were starting to double up.  Someone comes along to sit next to me.   Now, understand that I am a large woman.  I am a good size 18 maybe even 20 (ok PROBABLY more realistically a 20).  I take up my half of the seat, with the little edge of my half intact (not spilling over) since I am not large-bottomed.  Enter my new seat mate:

This woman was probably about my size, but most of her weight was in her ass.  She plopped in the seat, and yes the side of her leg overlapped onto me.  I figured (read: hoped) that she would shift around to get more comfortable and perhaps GET HER FAT ASS OFF OF ME...but alas that did not happen.  So I entertain my mind (by reading my Nook and just pretending that her warm leg isn't usurping the middle ground of our seat...ugh) and eventually we come near to our destination (we had left the stop before mine was to arrive) and I mentioned to her that my stop was next.  She didn't acknowledge me, so I repeated that the next stop was mine.  She said in a snarky tone "do you normally get up while the train is moving?"  I answered "no, but i wanted to be sure you understood that I was at the next stop"  since I was pretty sure she'd need a crowbar to unwedge her fat ass from the seat to allow me to extricate myself.  As the train was slowing down she did stand up and then (que lastima) almost stumbled back (which I believe was an exaggerated show to me that I was rushing her too early to get up).... urgh :)

So that's it for the rant of the day today.  And please don't take offense if you are a big-bottomed woman.  I think it's great and you should enjoy all of your curves; however, I don't want them sitting on ME if I don't know you....


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Latest push over the cranky edge.... you, gentle readers, can surmise, I am cranky quite a bit.  Life just tends to throw big heaping turd-balls at me and i have a difficult time dodging them LOL so i get cranky from being mired in some of the sh1t.

A minor incident  that caused the crank-o-meter to spike this weekend had to do with a relative mentioning "The boy is putting on a little weight, too much" to me.  Now I do realize that this is said lovingly, that this person does love my child; however, I don't quite understand what the well intentioned relative was trying to point out to me.  The boy is my child...and yes, he is getting chunkier which is why he's enrolled in soccer  and why we will continue to encourage him to participate fully, eat fruits and healthy snacks, provide him a reasonable meal, on and on.  The cause of my aggravation is: what is the greater meaning in pointing this out to me, his mother, also an admittedly larger than life woman?  Is this a way to point out the obvious weakness in the gene pool that comes from my side of the family? Maybe said loving relative feels I am  unable to see/identify that my kid is getting fat since I am also fat (not true, I buy his clothing, I know)?  Or is the conversation about withholding .... withholding food/sweets (which this person does not, if the boy asks for more ice cream, another cookie, whatever, he's given it) withholding love because a fat person is less of a person than a thin, fit one and less deserving of my/your/our/his/her love?

It makes me crazed to have this rolling through my mind which is why I share it with you.  I want to say something to this person but I won't since I honestly feel it was misguided but well intended. 

My greatest wish is that my children LOVE THEMSELVES even if that self is less than what I want it to be...less than what their family and friends want them to be.  Loving themselves, feeling comfortable in their own skin is probably the only thing I can really try to give them in this world....i don't have money, I am not super intelligent, crafty or even all that much fun....but letting them run with the gifts they've been given and learn to create their own lives from that...spin their own silken cocoon if they need to, but always liking who they are, always loving the person they become...for what it's worth, to me, that's priceless...  the world will be too willing to throw a turd-ball at ANY of us...why have one lobbed from home-field? 

Please feel free to talk me off of the reaction may be totally out of line;however it was visceral and i am still chewing on it.  UGH  Have a great day gentle readers LOL (the two of u who are subscribed!!)